Follow Through

A few years ago, someone that I thought was perfect told me that she wasn't. She asked what my greatest weakness was and told me what hers was. Her question caught me off guard. I had never taken time to think about my greatest weakness. I almost instantly knew what it was but couldn't put it into words for fear of setting that weakness firmly into my self-concept. I stalled for time, pushing her to answer first.

At the time, I didn't take her answer seriously. It seemed to me that she had waved a red cloth in a bulls face only to duck away from its horns and spear it from the side. She claimed that her greatest weakness was pride. That's the kind of answer I expected from a girl without fault. Pride is indeed a great weakness, as I know now, even if it is the only weakness a person possesses. The cowardly aggression of the ducking bullfighter drives him or her to exploit a bull, using a weapon to reduce threat. It is exactly this cowardly aggression that I completely missed my first time around.

My answer next. I said it before I could finish thinking about it. "Lack of commitment."
"Really? " she asked in a challenging is-that-so voice.

There are thousands of questions, theories, and arguments that end up in my head. Of these, hundreds consistently absorb my spare attention in the time just before sleep and just before waking, after I've run far enough to forget exhaustion and before I've run far enough to be reminded of exhaustion. Because these opportunities are short and infrequent, I've taught myself to immediately drop an idea from consciousness and return to it with undivided attention later.

#1 Society Is A Conscious Entity. Cell:Human::Human:Society. There is no reason to assume that society, governed by processes analogous to those governing the body of a "living" being is any less "conscious" than a human.

#2 Animals Are More Like Us Than Is Popularly Recognized. An image I saw today forced me to return to consideration of this statement. On the discovery channel, an elephant herd was shown trekking through an area of desert in which another elephant herd had recently been preyed on by lions. Elephant skeletons were clearly visible in the sand. The new herd slowed its pace, then stopped while two of the eldest detached from the herd to investigate. They stood side by side, sweeping their trunks over an elephant skull before them. That footage communicated more clearly than anything before that the mentality of these animals has been greatly misunderstood. Where do we draw the line between human and animal? Anthropologists have tried for decades to arbitrarily establish a border between our territory and that of the wild savages of the animal kingdom, but rational thought and science have denied that this is possible. WE ARE ANIMALS. Our use of language and tools does not change that fact. In many cases it simply amplifies our instinctive animal tendencies to dangerous levels.

#3 Why Are There Common Themes In Myths And Legends Across Almost All Cultures?/ When Did This Stuff Happen?/What Happened?/Why Do We Try To Remember? (Creation, Flood, Lost Continents, etc.)

#4 Life Is An Arbitrarily Defined State. There Is Far Less Difference Between Life And Death As Is Popularly Recognized. Consider a Virus. Living? Dead? WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE? This belief initially led me to believe that everything is dead, but as my cousin Michael put it, either nothing is sacred or everything is sacred.

#5 There Is No Fundamental Particle/The Universe is Limitless./Time is Limitless. This belief is based on a personal hunch. I do not claim to present any evidence supporting my argument. I believe that matter can be divided an infinite number of times into infinitely small particles. I also believe that SOMETHING extends infinitely outward, thus we will never discover an outward boundary of the Universe. I also believe that time extends infinitely into the past and into the future. By this I don't really mean that there could not be a beginning of time. I do mean that if there was a beginning of time, something MUST have come "before" that beginning, something must have given rise to that something, etc.

#6 Determinism- All Momentary Occurrences Are Necessarily Determined Entirely By The State Of All Things In The Moment Preceding.

I have just gloriously demonstrated my immense capacity for distraction. There are so many things to do think about and learn, which are equally inspiring to me, that I cannot begin to focus on ten, much less dedicate my life to one.

According to a book I began reading and never finished, entitled Aquarius Now, I do not commit to any one pursuit because I am afraid that I will succeed to the point of alienating others. That isn't how I think. My avoidance of commitment is in most situations simply an avoidance of a level of dedication that would seriously jeopardize my freedom to pursue what inspires me most at a given moment.